::Phantom Watson's blog
Recent News from FM Music Laboratories, the leader in research and development in the fields of experimental music promotion, music recording, and alcohol tolerance:
Our genetic experiment GE83385, which escaped from one of our fortified facilities in the Canadian wilderness in 2007, has continued to evade capture. The creature was created with a mix of genes from Micky Dolenz, Charlie McCarthy, and a rhesus monkey, and was raised with constant exposure to pop hip-hop and the Disney channel. If you have any information regarding the whereabouts of the abomination known as "Justin Bieber", DO NOT try to apprehend the creature yourself, as it is known to hiss and spray blinding acid when it feels threatened (just like Micky Dolenz). Please contact FM Music Laboratories for proper capture and disposal.
With the help of a grant from the Indie Rock Foundation, FM Music Laboratories has developed several new musical instruments that should be ready for purchase by the 2012 holiday season, which is plenty of time for hipsters to get some practice in before the next festival season:
After carefully setting up twenty-seven separate devices across your stage, a single marble set into motion will cause a chain of events that will, after several minutes, strum your choice of chord on the banjo! Wait, no. No, actually, just A minor.
This instrument is an eight-piped bagpipe with kazoos crammed into it that can only be played underwater. Comes with a free shutter-shade snorkel.
Exotic Australian aborigine / South African musical instrument or discarded rusty rain gutter? It all depends on whether or not you have a goatee when you play it! Comes with a do-it-yourself tetanus shot kit.
We just wrapped up recording of the Muncie Gras episode of FM Roots Radio, which you'll be able to listen to on March 14th on MAX 93.5 and 96.7 FM. The music that I lovingly bestowed upon your captive earholes in this latest episode is as follows:
- The Hoosiers - Cops and Robbers
- The Decemberists - The Chimbley Sweep
- Man Man - Spider Cider
- Modest Mouse - Bukowski
- Soul Coughing - Monster Man
- They Might Be Giants - She's Actual Size (live version with wacky impressionist drum solo)
Stay tuned for the next episode, when I'll present my own death metal covers of all of your favorite Wiggles songs.